Although this call was mainly focusing on the business-related applications of strategic relationships, it got me thinking about how people form relationships and friendships in general.

Everyone has many levels and layers of best friends, friends, associates, personal contacts, business contacts, etc. and whether or not we think about it, every time we meet a new person we form opinions about them and unconsciously place them in one of our layers and categories. People typically drift from level to level, and unfortunately we lose touch with many, but there are also many people that we should likely be keeping a little closer – but for whatever reason we don’t.

The thing that got me thinking is the amount of people that actually consider how they choose their friends and who they keep close and at a distance. Most people don’t put much thought into it, and it definitely has its effect. The people that are the closest to us have an enormous influence on our lives and it is important to understand that this influence can be both positive and negative. If you are struggling and finding yourself not as happy as you should be, try to surround yourself in people that have a positive influence on you. This may not always include your current circle of friends so it may mean you need to reach out to old friends, new acquaintances, etc.

Fortunately, I consider myself quite lucky in the sense that I have what I believe to be an excellent group of close friends on which I can rely. Unfortunately, it is impossible to be very close with a large number of people – which makes it even more important to make sure you are keeping the right people close to you. After some thought I have come up with some of the things I find extremely important in developing a close friendship and relationship.

Honesty.

It is important for someone to be able to tell you when you are out of line, or call you out on something that they disagree with. Praise from someone who is also willing to challenge you, is worth much more than If someone only ever agrees with you.

Respect.

I think this one goes without saying. Being brutally honest without being respectful can hurt. It is important that they show respect and are able to be critical, but constructive.

Dependability.

If you were in a crisis, whether personally, professionally, or emotionally and reached out to a friend to get together for a chat over dinner would they make time for you?

I’m not saying that it has to happen all the time, or that you even need to spend a lot of time together, but are they willing to make time for you when you need it? Or do they only ever seem to appear when it is convenient for them?

Motivating.

I’m sure you have experienced people that make you feel motivated or inspired when you are around them. For whatever reason, they have an aura that makes you want to strive to be the best. These are the people in particular that you want surrounding you, but are unfortunately harder to find.

—

Losing touch sucks. I’ll be the first to admit that I have lost touch with many great friends that I wish I could have kept closer. I know with a relocation coming up there will likely be more shifting of people from layer to layer which is I guess why I started to think of it. If you’re reading this and have lost touch please feel free to contact me or email me to say hi and let me know what you have been up to. I would love to catch up.

Thoughts and comments are always welcome and encouraged.

Using Facebook as a networking tool, whether it be for prospecting or finding potential job options is very beneficial. It connects you with many people you may not have time or the resources to connect with otherwise. However, at the same time you don’t necessarily want your employer or co-worker to know what you did last weekend; and what happens if a friend “tags” you in a not-so-flattering picture?

So how do you let people find you on facebook and provide valuable information to your friends all while maintaining a good level of privacy? I recently had this conversation with a friend that actually sparked this discussion. I have come up with some recommendations to get the most use out of facebook while protecting your privacy. Take them as you will, and do provide feedback if you want to discuss.

1. Firstly, limit your profile. You don’t want everyone with an email address to find out all about you. Unfortunately a lot of people stop here thinking their privacy is safe.

2. Remove your public friend listing. It’s one thing to limit your profile, but if I am trying to gather more information on you and your friends are available for me to search through, I can find a friend that doesn’t have their profile limited and search for photos and information on you that way. On this note, make the only thing available on your public listing your name, network, and picture. Have the only option to contact you to send you a message or add you as a friend.

3. Choose profile pictures wisely. A professional picture, a nice family photo, etc. Something you’d want the world to see you in. If you have past inappropriate profile pictures in your “profile picture” album, remove them from that album.

4. Manage your photos. Choose who sees your tagged pictures. I recommend changing your photo settings to allow no one to see your tagged pictures. You can allow groups of people, such as family and close friends to see your tagged images if you wish, but for the most part you don’t want everyone seeing the 1487 pictures you might have of you and your friends.

5. Minimize clutter, and add relevant information. Remove the “what porn star am I” application and clean up your profile. This part can be customized depending on the amount of information you feel comfortable providing. But if you’re using it for networking you may want to increase the amount of information. I have added the “write something about yourself”, my contact information including phone, email, and address. A few quotes, interests, groups, etc. are okay just try to remember to minimize clutter.

6. Use groupings. You can limit your profile based on groups of friend you create. For example, if you don’t wish your co-workers to see certain information, you can limit that in the privacy settings by creating a group for your co-workers.

7. Use status updates. I know they can get annoying, so don’t update them every couple hours. But if you’re attending a networking event or giving a speech somewhere update your status to let people know. Who knows, maybe someone you didn’t really know is attending the same event and makes contact.

8. Add friends. Add as many people as you can. Make new connections. Introduce yourself to friends of friends. Use the “People you may know” tool to see who can be added to your friends. The more people you have contact with, the larger your network can grow.

That pretty much wraps up my recommendations. Take it as you will, but I think it’s a good start to successfully networking with Facebook while maintaining a good level of privacy. If you have any other recommendations or problems with my reasoning feel free to let me know. Cheers to Chris Kolmatycki for the discussion on this topic and sparking the interest for it to be written.

The day started early with a 5 minute presentation by each of the 10 employers present at the event: Sunlife Financial, Frito Lay, Pepsi Bottling Group, Xerox, Bell Aliant, Fastenal, Enterprise, Canadian Tire, Labatt, and Investors Group. After the employers were wrapped up the students had the opportunity to take the floor. We each had 1 minute to give an “elevator pitch” or a mini speech aimed to essentially stand out amongst the other 25 or so students.

I was fortunate enough to be selected to interview with every company, which meant a fun but busy day. It was a great opportunity to meet some wonderful people from a variety of organizations and industries. It’s interesting what a day can do to change your perspective on your career path. I must say that Sunlife had a wonderful 5 minute presentation, and combined with a great interview with Suzanne from Sunlife has completely changed my opinions on financial planning as a career option.

I would recommend this event to any student. It’s a great way to meet some key people and to build on your job searching efforts. Big thanks to Management Career Services for organizing the event.